its all over...now is there something to start?
omjeez! school starts tomorrow. summer is almost over! this summer kicked ass, sure, but is there anything i would have done different? ohwell, too late to think about it now...i just gotta get psyched up for school-ha! what a feat!

drizzle for kicks
I love rainy days~they get me to thinking. We picked up my dad at the airport this afternoon, and drove through a sprinkle-when i saw him, i realized how much i missed him. I missed him incredibly, while he stood next to me. Is that crazy? Later that afternoon, I sat on my porch, read a great book and just watched the water fall. I walked away feeling incredibly lonely. I was surprised, that of all emotions, i felt lonliness. So odd!! I have a huuge family, who loves me. And tons of friends, new and old, that are all a blast! Whats missing? Ohwell, the lonliness went away, as soon as the sun came out. The end of the world got postponed, till the next downpour i assume!

words to live by-
Through willpower and courage, some humans can become supermen...they can rise above and control the common herd.
- The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay by Michael Chabon

intenesely aware
Today i felt so...alive! Vividly aware of my restlessness, produced by none other than my happiness. I couldnt wait to bust out of my "loaf at home"-funk, but unfortunately, I was trapped indoors all day. Strangely, I'm not complaining. Although I was left inside the house(due to my own laziness despite my desire to leave), my curious attitude alone helped me sustain through the day. I am looking forward to finding something to continously stir myself, to any degree of the excitement I felt today. I need a new passion(but not a creepy, stalker like drive). Come passion, I'm waiting...almost patiently!

momma and boys
Today, we hung out with momma and her girls from work. I am so surprised every time i am with them, cause i realize that my mom is more my friend than an actual parental gaurdian, accept for the respect, and the whole "i can ground u for that smart-ass" aspect. Its so silly to be around the ladies, cause all they do is talk about cute boys. They have more crushes that i have had in years...accept im the only one among them unmarried! They encourage me to have "boyfriends". Any boyfriends i can find, they say i should keep. Theyre just imaginary crushes though, if thats at all concievable. Any guy who is cute and flirts with you, can be your boyfriend. You dont need to know his name, or his age, or anything about him-there is no age restricton. Its so so so silly, but refreshing and fun! My boyfriend at Barnes and Noble is by far the cutest in town. He's much older...which is cool, because in boyfriend-land, real life means nothing. The less chance of an actual relationship, the better it is. But dont get me wrong...he needs the perfect personality. My mother is insane, but i love these silly games.

As i walk through these crowded city streets paced to the rythm of my heart's swift beats,
my invisible steps follow no one's stride, i smile at the windows but few are inside
to return the glance thrown by my hungry eyes, their relations are few, but their dreams reach the skies
where i climb these stairs engulfed by the stars, to see the light of their hopes from afar

In alleys lit by dim moon glow
midnight strikes, yet I, alone,
pace this dungeon, now my home,
seeking company rarely known.
Beneath my feet crumble flames,
memories sold for forgotten names.
faltered smiles, all short of sane
into the silence, drowned by dry rain.

speachless
Have you ever been in the situation where you can just see someone, and are at a loss of words? Even worse is when you attempt a conversation and blow it. Only minutes later, you imagine all of the charming things you could have said, but didnt...or couldnt? Sometimes I clam up, and lose all social abilites...but it seems like it's only with the people I want to be most alive with.

cruisin the town
Today, i feel like walking to LaBaguette. i havent taken a romp around the town in ages! I need to get out, before school starts up again. Hmm..am incredibly bored! Name this tune! :
"...On the corner is a banker with a motor car, the little children laugh at him behind his back. And the banker never wears a mac in the pouring rain...very strange!"

golly!
"One of these days, im gonna doo wah his diddy"...how forward! My...im blushing! I love these silly old radio men, who say things without quite thinking about them!

stubborn
people are difficult. u cant always get them to go where u want them to...so why even try? hmm. do things always need to "go somewhere"? hmm...i like being still personally.

the world collides to endless skies
placing dreams above high clouds
and destiny's fortune rests beneath
charming time and painting lies

a little ditty
ive had this song stuck in my head all day! earlier i even caught myself singing it outloud in public. it was startling to see people stare a little, but its almost empowering!
...sara spelled without an 'h' was getting bored, on a peavey amp in 1984, while zak without a "c" tried out some new guitars, playing sara with no "h" 's favorite song. la da da...zak and sara! ....zak called his dad about layway plans, sara told the friendly salesman, you'll alll die in your cars", and "why's it gotta be dark?", and "you're all working in a submarine, asshole!"...
-zak and sara - ben folds
haha...u can imagine the looks i got.